Balance.

Balance.

There is nothing more stressful then looking at your planner and realizing you have scheduled four different jobs on the same day. Realizing you have failed to make the deadline on one job to filling out the wrong availability on another it is incredibly difficult to keep straight. You realize you’ve lost it when you find yourself watching Bridgette Jones on a Friday night because you forgot you weren’t working.

Ah. A life of travel. Fluid schedules of you never know when you’re going to leave and when you are going to stay and figuring out how much you can work in between.

I work too much. I take on too many jobs, too many hours, and I expect everyone to understand what I’ve gone through each week to save for that plane ticket. Which is ridiculous.

I wonder if it is worth it. If running ragged for a year to be gone for two is worth the hours and the declined invitations and the no friends.

Well, I’m tired laying in my cloud bed on a Friday night because somehow I ended up not working on a Friday night-- which never happens—and the answer is yes. Yes it is worth it.

But it is hard as hell.

I have never lied to you and I never will. Life is hard. From rent, utilities, gas, food, and of course the wine, bills pile up higher than the Empire State building. They make you wonder why you ever moved out of your parents’ house in the first place.

But every month, somehow, the ends meet. I count my savings and hope next month will be better but am still a few dollars closer to my next adventure. I make it sound so glamorous right?

Saving sucks. Watching your money sit there when you could go out with your friends isn’t fun. Yes, I could get a 9-5 but that wouldn’t make me happy. I am tired all the time. Don’t have time to hang out with my friends and when I do all I want to do is watch TV with a bottle of wine (not to share) and not move for 9 hours. And for some reason I love it.

But sometime I want to quit. Get on a bus and go somewhere new. But where is the fun in that? Just because I am home working doesn’t mean I am not on some different kind of adventure. You learn something new every day-- literally, I’m a substitute teacher and the other day I learned how to dived by grouping lines together—who knew?

Coming home from a long trip is the hardest, but adjusting back into the routine schedule gives coming home a run for its money. Sundays sneak up on me and before you know it you all haven’t had anything to read for the past four weeks.

One day I’ll get it right. One day I will run smoothly. And then one day I will get bored and find a fifth job to spice things up.

I have read so many blogs that only talk about the wonderful experiences of traveling, but the saving and the time it takes to get you to that dream location is half the adventure.

So until I smooth my crazy life out, I will turn my phone on Do Not Disturb, take my cheap bottle of Cabernet to my room and watch Bridget Jones Diary for the third time on my random Friday night off and love every minute of it.